The New York Times yesterday reported the results of the new National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, revealing that almost 1 in 5 U.S. women have been sexually assaulted, 1 in 4 have been beaten by an intimate partner, and 1 in 6 have been stalked.
Additionally, one in seven men reported violence by an intimate partner, and 1 in 71 men had been raped, often as children.
These numbers may be surprising to some (including Linda C. Dugatis of the CDC, quoted in the Times referring to the 1 in 5 number, “I don’t think we’ve really known that it was this prevalent in the population.”) Others will have heard similar statistics long before this and not be surprised at all.
What we believe is important is that rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, attempted rape, stalking, intimate partner abuse, and interpersonal violence impact a huge percentage of the people we care about. Statistics almost don’t matter when we remember the real people behind the numbers.
Another important consideration, speaking of real people behind the numbers: The study doesn’t ask who committed these crimes. It doesn’t ask about the perpetrators who stalked these women, raped them, tried to rape them, or beat them. It doesn’t ask who beat the male victims or who raped them when they were still boys.
Nor does the study tell us, who are the friends, neighbors, and coworkers of these perpetrators? How many of them knew about the violence their friend or acquaintance was committing? Were there signs? Could any of them have stepped in to stop the violence or support the victim? Did anyone speak up to challenge the perpetrator’s behavior?
We do know that this is a men’s issue: Not only do we care about victims, and not only can we be victims ourselves, but men perpetrate the overwhelming majority of sexual and interpersonal violence. We know that most men are not violent, but of the violence that is committed, 90% is committed by men. If that’s not a reason for us, as men, to end the sexual and intimate partner violence happening in our homes, our families, among our friends and in our communities, then what is?
